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Why do we struggle with making friends as we get older?

01.

Increased responsibilities

As we age, life tends to get busier. Between work, family, and personal obligations, it’s harder to find time to nurture new relationships. The energy and effort that goes into maintaining friendships can take a backseat to other priorities.

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02.

Narrowing social circles

 When we’re younger, school or college often provide built-in communities where it’s easy to meet people. As we get older, we tend to become more settled in our routines and social circles, which might limit the opportunities to meet new people or form meaningful connections.

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03.

Higher standards or selectivity

With age, we may become more discerning about who we spend our time with. This can make it harder to form new friendships because we might have more specific criteria, like shared values, interests, or life experiences, that we look for in potential friends.

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04.

Fear or Vulnerability​

Older adults may feel like they’ve built up walls over time due to past hurt or disappointments in relationships. Opening up to new people requires a level of vulnerability, and that can be more difficult as we get older, especially if we’ve been let down before.

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05.

Social skills fade without practice

As we spend more time with the same people and in familiar environments, we may lose some of the social agility we had as kids or young adults. Meeting new people and establishing new friendships requires putting yourself out there, which can feel awkward or intimidating if you haven’t done it in a while.

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06.

Social Media vs. In-person Interaction

The rise of digital
communication can create the illusion of connection, but it’s often more shallow. Having “friends” online doesn’t always translate into deep, fulfilling relationships, and this can make real-life interactions feel even more daunting.

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I just wanted someone to share a meal with or go to the Theatre with; a friendship with no strings attached; I could only find dating sites, “Friends like these group” have given me a new lease on life.

James Diver

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